Relationship, Marriage, Couples, Anger, Counseling, Jacksonv

Through more than three decades of researching couples, relationships and marriages, Dr. John Gottman discovered that couples who maintain a vibrant friendship keep their romance and passion alive, as well as manage conflict calmly and constructively. He identified three significant dimensions of friendship in a relationship or marriage:

Love Maps: Being genuinely interested in what is happening in your partner's world and knowing their current their thoughts/feelings. You also feel that your partner or spouse really knows you and interested in staying current about your inner and external world.
Fondness and Admiration: Expressing positive emotion toward your partner (e.g.caring, affection, appreciation and respect).
Emotional Bank Account: Feeling connected to your spouse or partner.

Relationship Happiness Quiz

Instructions: Answer every item true or false indicating the extent to which AT THIS TIME you agree or disagree with each statement. You may want to print this page to make it easier to score.

Right now how do you feel?

1. I feel emotionally close to my partner. True False

2. I think that my partner really cares about me. True False

3. I feel confident that we can deal with whatever problems or issues that might arise. True False

4. I would consider myself happy in this relationship. True False

5. I feel respected by my partner. True False

6. I am committed to staying in this relationship. True False

7. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for my partner. True False

8. I find my partner very interesting. True False

9. I feel that my partner finds me physically attractive. True False

10. If I ever needed help I could count on my partner. True False

11. My partner really tries hard to meet my needs. True False

12. My partner really listens to me. True False

13. I am satisfied with our sex life. True False

14. I am confident we can handle any conflict that may arise between us. True False

15. My partner shows pride in my accomplishments. True False

16. I feel appreciated for what I contribute to this relationship. True False

17. I really feel loved in this relationship. True False

18. My partner really knows me well. True False

19. My partner is one of my best friends. True False

20. My partner loves my sense of humor. True False

Scoring: Add up the number of answers that you answered True and multiply by 5.

If your score and your partner's score is above 80, congratulations! You are reasonably happy in your relationship. You might enjoy enhancing the strengths in your relationship. Otherwise, there is need for some improvement in your relationship. You and your partner may benefit from participating in Couples Counseling or attending our Rekindle Your Romance Workshop.

Flooding

Read each statement and place a check mark in the appropriate TRUE or FALSE box.

1. Our discussions get too heated. True False

2. I have a hard time calming down. True False

3. One of us is going to say something we will regret. True False

4. I think to myself, "Why can't we talk more logically?" True False

Scoring: Add up the number of items for which you answered "True." Multiply this number by 20.

If your score or your partner's score is above 40, you have a problem dealing with conflict and self-soothing during conflict. There is need for some improvement in the area of conflict. You and your partner may benefit from participating in Couples Counseling or attending our Rekindle Your Romance Workshop.

Email us or telephone (904) 236-3963 for more information or to schedule an appointment.

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